Original Air Date: October 18, 2011
Directed By: Thor Freudenthal
Written By: Richie Keen and Heath Corson
Summary: Nick Green is one of the top agents for the US Government. He’s also got a paper on Crime and Punishment due Tues and a biology quiz this afternoon…because Nick is sixteen years old.
Quotes From The Episode
Nick: Most kids sneak out on a weeknight to go to a part or make out in a car. I just stopped eight cases of machine guns from being used against the Chicago police force. My name is Nick Green. I’m a junior at Fairview High School. And I have a part-time job as an operative for the U.S. government. I didn’t know that winning a fitness contest in seventh grade would lead to the Department of Education Pilot Program #18 a.k.a. DEPP, to recruit me. It sounded kind of fun. Said it would be like camp. It’s not. High school is. Don’t freak out. I’m not some psycho, I’m not gonna blow up prom. But let’s face the facts, our government’s in a pinch. Everyone’s overseas, we’re deep into two known wars and two that are classified. And militarily, “Yes we can” is turning into “Oh, no, you didn’t.” You’d think this would be the hardest part of my life. It isn’t.
Miss Walker: Nick can you solve for X?
Nick: Where is x?
Miss Walker: Nick you failed lab. Your head’s not in the game. What is going on with you?
Nick: Um, I’m really sorry, Miss Walker. I’ve been really busy with my afer-school job.
Miss Walker: And what’s that exactly?
Nick: Waste disposal.
Nick: It actually makes sense. Teenage apathy makes us particularly good at this work. And no one thinks we can be up to anything more illegal than trying to get someone to buy us beer in front of a liquor store. Or what Scotty Winelin just did to that water fountain. So the brainiacs who brought you airport security decided to create a new generation of operative. Young, malleable, ethically challenged personalities with the ability to stay focused, no matter how many different stimuli you throw at us. You know, teenagers. We’re the wrench in the toolbox you thought you never thought you’d need. Then you realize you can bust a guy’s skull open with that wrench. Okay, that’s not the best analogy. God, Marcus is right.
Marcus: You’re gonna blow the SATs.
Nick: Oh, without a doubt. Dude, I just had this crazy, crazy interaction with Miss Walker.
Marcus: Again with Miss Walker? She’s not into you that way. She probably feels sorry for you, Nick.
Nick: Oh, right, stud. Tell me again how you get the girls?
Marcus: Hey, that’s a low blow, man. Low blow.
Amanda: Hey, Nick, you gonna vote for my sister?
Nick: Whoa, Amanda, you can’t just go right for the vote. You know, you gotta buy a girl a drink first. Romance me. Make me feel pretty.
Amanda: Is that the key to sucess Mr. Nick Green?
Nick: Key to success? I didn’t even know there was a door.
Nick: Amanda Miles. Hot, edgy, and just friendly enough to make me think I might stand a chance.
Nick: I’d say be careful who you pick on in school. But there are only 64 other government controlled high-school operatives like myself in the U.S. spread out over 7393 public high schools. So chances are, there isn’t one in your school. But you never know. Killing is easy. High school is hard.